Inner Chaos

I was told a story yesterday about a famous horse, owned by Lord Gilpin, which had the ability to gallop off in many different directions simultaneously. As I listened to the story of Lord Gilpin's horse I realized that my experience here in India is not so dissimilar. Of all the ports we have visited, this one I felt least prepared. Ironically, it reminded me of tubing behind the boat right when you fall off, just before hitting the water. Arms and legs are sprawling, flying through the air, having no idea which way is up, crashing into the wake is almost a relief because at least you stop spinning.

My third day in Chennai is one I will never forget. It began as many of the AFPs do; everyone rushing around, making head counts, checking to bring toilet paper, eventually loading onto a bus and striking out for the day. We began at a beautiful restaurant and the first place I have found in India to actually be cold (with air conditioning). Here, Mr. B.S. Raghavan joined the 14 members of my learning circle AFP. The list credentials for this 81-year-old man reach longer than my arm and yet I was still not sure what to expect. Having served in the Indian Administrative Service, in the American Political Science Department in the US, and as Chairman of three UN Commissions as a policy advisor, Raggy, as he asked us to call him, knows a thing or to about the world, and in particular India.

Being in India we have heard a lot about the caste system, however, many of us still felt confused by some of it's basic principles. Raggy was able to better clarify how the system works. He claims that although it was originally intended to aid the growing social complexities and functionality of society it has grown into a monster. The divisions of labor are as follows: the Brahmans are the keepers of the flames of knowledge; Kshatriya, serve to protect the society and keep everyone safe; Viashya, are responsible for trade and commerce; and Shudras perform the daily manual tasks. Nearly 10,000 years ago, in the beginning of the Hindu religion, these positions were chosen based on aptitude and personal preference. The elders saw that a young boy had an affinity for reading and he was assigned to be part of the Brahmans, whereas his friend might be very big and strong and was classified as part of Kshatriya. Around 2,000 years after the development of the different divisions of labor the system became objectionable because the decisive criteria for caste was made according to birth instead of ability.

This system has been so engrained into the culture of the people that many of the groups and sub-groups rarely interact. Although the 20th and 21st centuries has allowed some flexibility Indian cannot purge itself of this legacy. The number one goal for equality in India is education. Through education there is a blending of cultures and status. Due to the lack of education afforded to the lower social classes throughout history, nearly 657 sub-groups are putting in claims to receive Affirmative Action. In Raggy's opinion, the development of self-confidence is of the upmost importance. Without self-confidence no one will try to disrupt the status quo. However, the results of such efforts are moving very slowly.

It was truly an honor to sit across from such an inspirational man discussing not only the issues of Indian society but also that of the world. He challenged all of us to take charge! Take charge of our lives, our education, and our futures. Glancing around the room I saw his electrifying words reach inside everyone. The energy was nearly tangible and the experience quite personal. In fact, I received a personal challenge, one I hope to complete with great excellence. Raggy asked me to write an article for him. By the end of this month I must submit an article to him via email. It will be an honor to write for such an esteemed social scholar, however, I must admit I am quite nervous. But as he challenged me to do, I will not let fear hold me back.

Later that afternoon we visited the Sisters of Charity (Mother Teresa's group). Walking in I knew this would be an experience so overwhelming that even now I do not have a grasp on it. The orphanage holds 81 children, however we were only privy to what appeared to be the disabilities building. In the dim light of a small sparse room I was handed a small child who looked up at me in utter amazement. As I looked around each of my peers held another in their own arms, each child with a paralyzing disability, either physical or mental. I watched as young girl, without legs and an arm, played with a truck on the floor. As I walked through the rows of beds I saw child after child who will never even sit up let alone stand or speak. Some had a light behind their eyes, telling you that they could see you and understood a smile yet many others did not. Upstairs was a room of about 15 girls, with clear mental disabilities most of who could not speak. We played hand-clapping games and made faces at one another. And I was continued to be amazed how power a smile can be. I'm glad we were able to visit, even just for a moment; we might have made their lives a little more exciting. But it wrenches my heart to think of them still, trapped by their own bodies and abandoned by their parents. They are the children we hear about but rarely see. I leave you now with the prayer on the stone outside the orphanage:

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord make me an instrument of peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, let me sow pardon
Where there is friction, let me sow union
Where there is error, let me sow truth
Where there is doubt, let me sow faith
Where there is darkness let me sow light
Where there is sadness let me sow joy
O Divine Master,
Grant that I many not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved, as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life
--Amen.